Humble Beginnings

Session 12: The Exposition and the Exodus
"Good dog best friend"

The Exposition

In their study, Tim and Sylvia give a size three exposition dump to the party. They claim to be part of an underground who are trying to investigate the queen. The Battle on Old Land doesn’t seem to be just about land, the queen has systematically conquered almost the entire continent, over several hundred years. The current war seems to be about suppressing knowledge held by the other side on her origins. The underground hasn’t managed to find out or get there. Serra is rather scathing of the whole idea, Brody seems uncomfortable but is still very drunk. James gives his word to keep the information to himself, which may involve not telling Chris…

Sylvia then tells Serra about the man she’s been following on orders from the dragon. He’s a member of their circle called Harrington Flaunder the Third….etc. etc. or Needle to his friends. A particularly odd name and apparently he’s similar in stature to Serra. They give her information where he might be headed. Serra then heads off to the tavern, looking for Til. Meanwhile James and Brody continue to make conversation, until Brody passes out from exhaustion and booze…

Serra fails to find Til and spends the night hunting for him with no success. Maybe he did run off to join Maurgrim’s band of conchies.

The next day, with time ticking, Serra heads back to chez Nightwood. On the way she spots Spanik, the ranger with deer recognition problems. She tries to avoid him but she’s spotted as she meets up with the others. In a short conversation he lets slip he’s working for “the council”. Serra heads back to the library to pick up books on people matching her description. There’s an entire tome on Peoples of the East. James and Brody head to the barracks.

At the barracks James and Brody arrive to find the muster underway. Chris is being beasted by the guards and Brody goes to join the ranks. James heads to his father’s office, who asks where Serra is, muttering about punctuality… James forgot he’d arranged to meet him the night before! They head down to Rob’s personal armoury, where James picks out a peculiar crystal sword for his use. The jewelled sword is placed in secure storage for the future.

Serra eventually arrives. Rob gives her her contract, which declines to give her any gear but places a guard dog in her custody. A dog which seems to be bigger and better trained than she is, and doesn’t seem to obey a word she says… The party are then loaded down with survival packs, Brody barely notices the weight, James manages but is slowed a bit, and Serra and Chris almost unable to carry them. They set out.

The Exodus

For a whole day and night march… In which a lot of the 21 recruits are exhausted and bullied into line by the guards, James struggles with the forced march and starts lagging behind too but is generally left alone by the officers. Blessed nepotism…

The next couple of days pass in the same gruelling manner until they arrive at a village, where the entire troop are made to abase themselves before a statue of the queen, flanked by robed priests. This causes a strange effect on James and Chris, and several of the platoon. James notices too late some nimbus of energy about the statue but isn’t able to avoid its effects. Serra notices James noticing the effect but isn’t able to see what he’s seeing. Ineffectuality abounds.

Brody uncharacteristically goes off to a bakery and buys a sweet roll. Offering it as a friendly gesture to another pleb he watches the recruit throw it to the ground and stomp on it. James spots this and demands the recruit apologise. As he refuses, James sees red and fascinates him into paying attention before disciplining him.

The march on this time has Chris grinding down with exhaustion, as he’s being punished by one of the officers, the column grinds to a halt due to a cart being in the way. The other officer heads up and confronts the woman in the cart, then stabs her in front of her kids. As Serra vainly tries to save her, James demands to know why he did it. He claims she and her kids are traitors and orders the goods confiscated. Serra protests and is eventually chained up with the barbarian prisoner. Brody runs off into the woods to find the kids. Eventually finding them and trying to talk them into heading back to the village.

But not before the column moves on driven by the officers…

That night Chris sneaks up to the tent of one of the officers, intent on some errand, meanwhile Chris is walking on the edge of the camp to make a distraction. Serra notices Chris and Chris, and Chris notices being noticed, Chris meanwhile fails to notice being noticed. Chris heads over and picks Serra’s cuffs. Brody gets back to the camp at this point and offers to let the other officer get some sleep, the noise of this waking James. As they discuss this the Chris who didn’t notice being noticed is also noticed by James and Brody, along with the other Chris heading to the officer’s tent. Fearing an attack Brody raises the alarm, and the camp is placed on alert all night.

The next day they enter the foothills headed to Fort Highguard, as they gain height there is an avalanche. As the dust settles James and a pinned Lydia are on one side, Chris, Brody, Serra, the barbarian and one officer on the other. And Serra’s dog. Everyone else is either crushed or falls to their deaths. James notices a weird rocklike creature above them and Lydia trapped under the rocks but does nothing until the others attack the thing, which causes more rocks to fall, injuring James and pinning Chris. They eventually dispatch the Avalancher, but not before James and the dog slip and are hanging from a branch over the precipice. Brody helps James up then they set about recovering the survivors, including the dog. With one exception: Serra walks over to the surviving officer and guts him like a fish, with Brody looking on in horror. James then pitches the body down the cliff, one last victim of the avalanche as far as he’s concerned.

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Session 11: The Baker and the Bumfight
"Let me in! I'm a baker!"

Joining the guards

Continuing the discussion at the fountain, James and Serra agree to join the army with Brody. Chris also wanders off to sign up, still fuming about Serra calling him out on his night with the whore. Telon meanwhile flatly refuses to sign up, and says he’s going to join Maurgrim and his people in the woods. Nobody really believes him, least of all Serra, so they let him go. As the crowd thickens en route Chris gets buffeted about. The others spot him and he gets pulled aside by Brody.

At the barracks James’ father recruits Chris, sending him off to the armoury where he picks out a pair of curved fighting knives and some chain armour, while James is taken on as an officer cadet and given the pick of his father’s personal armoury. He agrees to let his father keep the jewelled sword, but hangs onto it until they depart. Serra gets refused on height grounds, as she storms off and screams in a corridor James goes back into his father’s office and tries to persuade him to take her. He agrees to discuss it with his superiors.

To the Library!

The plan being to trek to Fort Highguard to begin basic training in two days, the group separate to finish things off. The next morning Serra and James head to the library – in James’ case to find out more about the sword and a bit more about the nobility in the area. Serra to find more about dragons and other things she’s not willing to share with the group. James finds the appropriate page of a book on swords is ripped out, the librarian however has a poster offering 10k gold for the return of the golden swords to the queen.

Serra goes researching dragons. One has a legend of a dragon guarding a library in a place called Candlekeep. She finds a book from the non-fiction section called the Disciples of Arshedallon , written in a indecipherable language. Serra distracts James and goes looking up magic. She buys the book on magic, in part payment agreeing to translate the Disciples of Arshedallon.

Brody and Chris spend some time meeting the other recruits, including Lydia, who seems to be struggling to figure out a weapon from one end or the other. They then go about trying to persuade people not to join the army to increase the odds of Serra joining.

The Underworld

The group then set about trying to find Tim and Sylvia. There’s a note telling James the location of the safe house waiting for him, but on approaching it seems the door is pretty solidly trapped. James remembers Tim’s system for getting a code word involves listening to the lyrics of a song in a bar, and so they decide to head there. Or rather they were, but Chris has been attempting to not recruit people to the army, and manages to get into a knife fight with some hobo! As the bum cuts Chris, James throws a glob of mud, making an unusually accurate pool of grease about the tramp, causing him to slip and fall. Serra then brains him and they leave him unconscious in an alley.

Chris, who’s been behaving even more erratically since they arrived is confronted by Brody, who thought it was a good idea to let him take a few knife wounds. Brody berates him and makes it clear he thinks the Millers did a terrible job raising him. Chris finally cracks at this and storms off tearfully.

The rest of the group meanwhile go looking for the tavern. Eventually the prerequisite vegetable-obsessed musician comes in and they listen intently. Aaand James thinks the code word is aubergine with Brody thinking its cucumber…

The combination of bickering and possible code words gets the attention of a little kid from inside, who goes to get his da, Tim. Tim doesn’t trust them but sets them a task anyway: to investigate who’s knocked over a bakery, the Maiden’s Flour, that Tim owns.

The group arrive at the bakery with moments to spare before the owner locks the door, with Brody uttering the immortal lines: “Let me in! I’m a baker!”

…It does the job. As he’s in uniform the baker thinks the group are legitimate guards come to investigate. A thorough investigation leads to one conclusion, it looks like an inside job and there was a strong smell of booze so maybe the pub is a good target. Brody starts gathering information and ends up getting a little drunk, and the absolute centre of attention. A cloaked figure runs out, spotted by James and Serra, who give chase. Serra corners and tackles her, and it turns out to be Sylvia. They escort her back to the tavern, with her unwilling to talk, and particularly infuriatingly unwilling to do business with them. Eventually they head off to Tim. Drunken baker in tow.

Said drunken baker figures out en route that this was all a test of loyalty, if someone’s willing to tell a man that his own wife (who’s a childhood friend herself) has betrayed him, then that man’s loyal. It turns out to be true, when they arrive, Tim and Sylvia embrace James with open arms…

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Session 10: The Sword and the Sex Workers
"I'm going to get EVERYONE laid on your first night in the city, no matter how hard it is!"

After selling the horses, James distributes the money made… Then to spare Brody’s feelings he doesn’t outright say they’re sold, but that they’re being stables there permanently. For free. And here, have some gold!

They make their way to the Old King’s Head, to find it slightly more seedy than James remembered it. In fact on closer inspection it’s a brothel. As they approach the bar, an old man who James recognises as Athelred asks if they’re wanting service. Eventually recognising James, he offers them a place to stay and fires his musician in favour of James.

As they settle into their new digs, a room so dilapidated that to call it seedy is an insult to seeds, with a rusty mattress and a powerful smell of incense, Brody gets ready to meet his date at the Salubrious chain inn and goes off across the city to find him/her/it/them. Chris disappears off into one of the rooms after being seduced by a woman who looks somewhat like Trixy, Telon sits somewhere very quietly for a bit and James and Serra are left alone in the room. Serra then bursts into a fit of giggles and gives a gobsmacked James a hug, claiming that despite being mad as hell about James lying to her and the others she’s so happy they made the trip! Then she throws the coin purses she stole from the thief into the bed. There’s about the same again if not more than the money they got for the horses! Serra insists that this is fantastic and they’ll soon be able to call for their families, James cautions her they should find ways to launder the money so they don’t get caught. Eventually James sets to work in the bar room and Serra passes the time dancing.

Brody meanwhile has failed to find his date and instead falls in with a large group of locals who find his stories endlessly entertaining! One suggests he have a song written about them. On his way home to the cathouse he gets hopelessly lost, and ends up talking at length to a pretty young woman who later charges him by the hour for listening! He spends the rest of the night wandering the streets.

Serra meanwhile has found her mark. She gradually seduces/drugs a guard who walks in off duty and by the end of the night they retire up to the boudoir. She then proceeds to root through the unconscious guard’s property until she finds his weapons license and forges a copy for the rest of the party each and in so many words tells Til he can now get his bow back.

The next morning the group make themselves scarce for the return of the Garry’s consciousness. The dishevelled returning Chris is given instructions to go with Til to get their weaponry while James and Serra go out for breakfast, and to try and find his old alchemist teacher Sylvia. They rendezvous with Brody on the way and the three of them head to Nightshade’s, or what turns out to be now a small subsidiary of Nightshade’s the Alchemists. Sylvia it seems in the last ten years has married Tim, one of James’ other friends and expanded her business. The shopkeeper says she lives in a house in the poor quarter but owns a lot of shops. There’s an experiment caged in the shop, which turns out to be an extremely well-spoken goblin named Glibglob. As it outlines its plans to become goblin king the shopkeeper mentions Sylvia keeps it there to keep it away from the children. It’s the most successful of her experiments so far, Serra correctly guesses its been treated with a particular rare/legendary herb. As she and James come up with ideas of how to make money on this, Brody seems to think it vitally important to give it to the guards for safe keeping. James leaves contact details for Sylvia and they depart, discussing legendary poisons and their ramifications as they go. Surprisingly a passing guard takes notice of this and also taking note of James’ sword asks for their weapons licenses. This then makes him assume they’re in the guard and asks why they’re not in uniform. James immediately retorts that they’re off duty and he leaves. On closer inspection the licenses Serra forged are guards’ licenses…

With plans to set up a smuggling ring brewing in their minds, Serra and James plot to get Brody in the guard. James and Brody head off to see James’ father, now a lieutenant in the army, while Serra heads to the library. As for the others, Til’s gone missing again… Chris heads off to find him. Chris finds Til mid-press gang and rescues him from the guard. On their way to the Queen’s fountain in the main square a messenger hawk is spotted – they summon it down, retrieve the note and shoo it away. Chris is troubled by this…

Serra meanwhile has been looking for a library, and finding one bullies the librarian into taking her to the magic section. There her eyes are opened, magic seems to be real and James has been lying to her all along! She eventually returns to the fountain, finds Chris and reads the letter he’s been sent. Dismisses it out of hand and comments on how quickly he forgot Trixy once some cheap trollop came along. In the shocked silence that follows the three of them wait.

James and Brody go to the guard office, and explaining to the recruitment sergeant that James is the son of Rob Arsmith they’re taken into a waiting area. Brody is led in first, and is sweet-talked into signing on the dotted line, and comes out with dreams of 3000 gold on completion of a few months duty. James then goes in, and has the reunion with the man who abandoned him with his grandparents ten years earlier. Apparently Rob left the sword with him to let the prize for its return grow, and offers to split it with him – 10k each… The elder Arsmith then explains the war on the old lands needs him, he’d be given a commission and the two of them could rise in the ranks quickly. Especially with the return of the sword… And Elena, James’ mother would have wanted it. James wavers, clearly taken in by everything his father says, suggests they meet to discuss it further and walks away to meet Brody in the barracks.

Brody with some convincing agrees to wear heavy armour, and spends the entire trip back to the fountain going on about the gold. When they get back they explain the situation to the sullen group, with Serra stating that she isn’t leaving him to die out there. Chris uncharacteristically announces he’s signing up, with the scene closing on them planning on how to keep their gold and make more when they’re in the army.

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Session 9: The Garry and the Garry
"Yes we definitely paid 300 gold each for these horses."

The party continues its trek to Erebaster, speeded up by the acquisition of horses Brody acquired from a really really keen horse trader! Suddenly they notice they’re being pursued, by goblins riding large wolfish things called wargs. As Brody spurs the horses pulling the cart along to a run, Serra does likewise with her pony whilst also dipping an arrow in a vial, nocking it into a shortbow and taking out the lead warg rider. James throws a gob of grease at the second one, which slows it but otherwise has little effect. He then starts singing an inspirational song to bolster his allies. More jump onto the cart from the trees and more riders appear. As the fight gets closer, James and Chris both take out goblins on the cart, and Serra and Telon continue to shoot at the attackers. As one rider attacks and gores one of the horses, Brody moves over and kicks it out of its mount, which is then itself cut down. Eventually the remaining goblins are dispatched and the group stop to inspect the damage. One of the horses is badly injured and it’s decided to stop for the night to let it rest up.

One of the goblins is wearing a shirt which James identifies as being able to summon a mist. Serra scorns the notion of this until James activates it and the whole area fills with a concealing mist. Convinced there must be some alchemical trigger James isn’t willing to share with her, Serra spends an hour investigating it and eventually manages to reproduce the process. As the party settle down she glares at James, convinced he’s being more economical with information than she thought.

The next day as they trek along a deep singing voice becomes audible. James after a moment to register it recognises the song and its singer. He runs off into the woods, hotly pursued by the party. As he hits a clearing he sees the massive form of Maurgrim, his old music teacher, who happens to be another of the large green people with tusks. Maurgrim recognises him too and they meet in a big old emotional hug.

After an emotional meeting James tells the group that Maurgrim taught James music as a child. He’d been travelling in the meantime but he’d recently left Erebaster with his two companions to avoid being drafted into the army to fight the war for the old country. He explained that James’ father Rob is now a senior officer in the army and had tried to recruit him. Given his attitude to war (his clan was wiped out years ago) he fled the city before it got locked down. He also mentioned that it required a permit to carry weapons in Erebaster. As James catches up with Maurgrim it becomes clear that 1) he’s not told everything to the party he knows (or he knows less than he lets on about the city) and 2) bards are far more friendly to Chrissie Brownpants when they’ve not been poisoned by him! Fact one causes some more awkwardness with Serra, with her assuming he’s been playing the party for his own ends (which to a certain extent he has).

With the knowledge James’ father is an influential figure in the city, they part ways with Maurgrim’s group. As they head off, Serra accuses James of leading them to their deaths. James responds that they know what’s been happening locally more than the party and they’re unlikely to run into the dragon. At the mention of the dragon Serra pales and goes silent.

Following the road further, they eventually reach the city. Most of the group are struck dumb by the sight of the massive walls looming up before them and they dally a while before heading in. Knowing her new dagger is likely to be illegal, Serra hides beneath the cart as they approach. Brody doesn’t have much of value on himself so enters unimpeded, while Chris gives up some of his mountain of weaponry. James, perhaps being over eager with the thought of going home, forgot he’s carrying thousands of gold worth of sword and walks in without hiding it, and ends up bribing the guards to let him in with it. Telon has no such luck and gives up his bow to the guards until he can get a license.

The party then try to find a place to stable the horses. As they’re disoriented by the massive, massive crowds Telon loses his purse. Serra notices and pickpockets the pickpocket. Coming away massively in profit. Based on the tip Brody received they end up at an abandoned stables. Following a few leads they end up at the other end of town. The stable owner recognises the horses and offers to pay them triple what they paid for them. As Brody begins to explain they aren’t for sale, James jumps in and explains how much they paid for them. Maybe exaggerating a bit. Ok a lot. Chris notices what James is up to and takes Brody for a walk while James haggles the man out of 1000 gold for the horses.

Coin purses in hand James and Serra rejoin the party and they begin to look for a place to stay…

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Session 8: The Farmers and the Firedrake
"That dragon's so shiny! Can I keep it?"

As the party gets ready to settle down for the night a large convoy arrives headed by several robed figures. Brody being the only about town he subtly and deftly walks up to them. And escapes the notice of two out of eighteen of them. The convoy are made up of priests and colonists sent to “assist” the survivors and recolonise. Brody explains that the forge is up and running and the survivors are in the quarry with Zanzan. He also asks if they can spare some support for Burnside, which the absolutely non-hive mind clerics didn’t even know about. They agree that some settlers will be sent there.

The rest of the party is in the forge, studiously avoiding strangling Chris as usual. A hooded man and a large green man with tusks arrive at the forge and it’s established that the green one will take over there but he doesn’t speak common. James establishes that he also doesn’t understand dwarfish, but he does manage to understand words like “greenskin” and “wazzok” (=oafish clod in the blacksmith’s language), James’ name du jour for Chris (du jour meaning “of the day” in some incomprehensible dead language). As they retreat from the forge Serra wonders whether they’re normal for priests, as they’re nothing like Nerrah. James mentions that in the city you don’t see much of the priests, and he’d never heard of Yondalla before coming to Burnside.

The next day the party decide they’re going to move on to Erebaster. James and Serra try looking for a vendor to sell the gem they got from the goblins, and find a gem merchant. He tries to sting them for five gold and despite a bit of haggling James eventually decides to leave it until they get to the city. Finding they have no place to sleep they commandeer a house on the edge of town, Chris puts up a sign “Adventurers Incorporated” outside which gets immediate interest from a townie. He tries to recruit Telon for heavy lifting. Chris agrees for five gold. James then wanders around the campfires playing and trying to garner a bit of information about where the villagers are going. They also meet someone making the trip home who agrees to deliver letters for them.

The next day, the party write their letters and the totally trustworthy fellow takes them. Brody then befriends a girl who’s very, very fond of horses and amazingly manages to persuade her to sell the party some. James goes about buying up travel rations and Chris… Chris is ambushed by the guy who paid in advance for Til to do some unpacking. As the indignant hunter refuses to enter into the indentured servitude Chris has prepared for him Chris obligingly goes and “works” for reduced pay. He then tries to make up the difference by liberating supplies. Poorly. He’s caught and sent packing without pay.

The party set off from Cinnabar on their new horses, with Telon and Serra helping eke out their travel rations and Telon and James looking for “medicinal” herbs to sell when they get to the city. At a fork in the road they find a signpost heading to the Golden Cave, a place James doesn’t remember. With the weather worsening rapidly, it seems almost like fate that any shelter present itself now.

There are fairly recent tracks leading up, four in fact, with one leading back. They make their way to the cave, only for the horses to try and bolt. As Serra and Brody get the horses under control the rest approach the cave entrance. The inhalation of breath they hear from inside makes James think of nothing so much as a monster from legends, which raises a snort of derision from Serra.

As the party enter the cave, with only Serra able to see, the noise gets larger. Eventually a flame bursts in front of the group, leaving the party in no illusions that it is facing a dragon. A fairly wounded looking gold dragon with a tiny hoard. It seems the creature has been luring people in with the sign and taking their possessions. It’s particularly taken by the smell of Serra, saying one of her people was one of its attackers. It claims that like Serra, it is the last of its kind. News to the party who just dismiss her as a midget.

As the dragon tasks the party to find the attacker, it passes a strange weapon to Serra, claiming that the other is on the attacker, and that he is like her. The dragon then dismisses them, except Chris won’t go. He’s oddly fascinated and keeps trying to get it to let him come closer… The light-fingered trickster is eventually convinced to give over and head out the cave. As they leave, the weather isn’t calming down any so they make a camp at the cave mouth. Chris and James get the sign from the road and burn it to keep warm and prevent anyone else getting lured in.

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Session 7: The Sweatshop and the Sticks
"Why do we even need clothes?"

As the party come to terms with the devastation of Cinnabar, the biggest thoughts on various minds range from “Are these kids all going to die?” to “How are we going to last on the roads?” via “Why won’t Brody put some bloody clothes on?!” The question of the naked baker seeming the easiest to answer, Serra attempts to get him to dress and arm himself. The relative merits of clothing seeming to be a subject overlooked by the Copperfield household, and it becomes readily apparent why: Brody thinks he’s invincible! Even James mentioning that nakedness is frowned upon in polite society doesn’t get through. Eventually he relents and Serra is allowed to dress him.

Serra then sets about restoring the smithy. James, voted the least likely to send children running in terror three years running in Burnside, identifies which children are likely to do best in the smithy and sends eight of them to work for free helping them make tools for the village and travelling leathers for the party. Not necessarily in that order.

James sets about asking the surviving noble children about the surrounding area. Some of them have some idea of the world outside and he manages to sketch out a crude map of the surrounding area. They make plans for the party to head into the city.

Telon goes foraging for food, helping the kids identify edible roots and berries. Chris decides to go gathering fuel with some of the children. He disappears for most of the fortnight only returning with his young charges and bundles of sticks. And gets. Increasingly. Irritating.

This comes to a head when Serra is poring over the scrolls they’ve gathered over their travels. Serra can’t read it, while James can but can’t understand it. He reads one out with no effect. One of the noble kids mentions that the priests use them to perform acts in services. He seems to be about to explain more when Chris irritates him and he runs off. At this point Serra snaps and James walks off. As James gets annoyed with Chris a twig leaps over the room and jabs him in the eye…

As this all settles down, robed figures ride into town.

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Session 6: The Beauty and the Brody
"Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were a deer!"

As the party leaves the wreckage of the caravan, the grave of Boron the trader freshly dug by the roadside so he could watch travellers passing by. Though they never checked to see whether it was a crossroads. That’s where murderers get buried. Oh well. The bear follows them along for the next few days, occasionally bringing Serra and Telon presents it caught. A hawk is spotted following the party, but despite the best efforts of Serra, Telon and James won’t come down to them.

Perhaps inspired by the saying “turning swords into plowshares” Serra develops a new nocturnal habit of hammering the goblins’ morningstars into hammers. As nocturnal habits go it’s not up there with drugs or illicit cockfights, but at least drug addicts don’t typically have the strength to pound metal on metal all night!

On the fourth day on from the caravan the bear has wandered off and the majestic Brody pulling the cart suddenly takes an arrow to the chest. As he recoils in mild surprise a skinny little man with pointy ears drops out of the trees, claiming that he thought he was a deer! The man introduces himself as Spanik, and full of apologies he pulls the arrow out of Brody’s chest, causing more damage than it did going in. Brody, barely even noticing the hideous hole in his chest starts making comments about Spanik’s mutilated ears.

Serra insists Spanik make amends by helping tend to Brody, and they make way to his camp. He tries to convince them to leave the cart to carry on to his camp but the more suspicious members of the party insist he moves to their position. Neither Serra nor James failed to notice the hawk seems to be his. As day turns to night Spanik tells the party he’s from Cinnabar, the town they’re headed to, and that a month earlier it got hit by bandits and killed almost to a man. Only a small number of children survived, being looked after by a woman. He spies James’ sword, and tries to convince him to sell it to him. Then tries to tell him it’s stolen goods. Then explains it looks like the old king’s sword. As James explains its an heirloom and not for sale, he makes a mental note to disguise the hilt a bit. While explaining that it’s probably just a cheap knockoff. Chris helps with disguising the hilt in his own “special” way.

As the party arrive into Cinnabar, they’re greeted with the slightly aromatic fragrance of burned longpig. The town is torched and littered with the remains of the townsfolk. A lone woman is spotted rooting through the wreckage, trying to remove bodies. As the party approach, James introduces them and Brody explains they’re here to loot the town and move on. Generally ignoring the sarcasm the woman, a true beauty of a half Orc named Zanzan, explain that she look after little ones after attack. She look after them in hiding place outside town. She take us… I mean she takes the party to the quarry where the kids are holed up and they share some food and supplies with her.

Zanzan it seems is such a beauty among her people that she can’t find a mate, it’s tough being attractive in a race that doesn’t value beauty. She’s trying to prove that she’s worth mating with by showing she’s strong and capable of looking after a large number of irritating children. As the party go about making themselves useful, Serra and Telon go looking for food, Brody sets to guarding the cart, James goes to try and keep the kids under control and Chris disappears…

Serra and Telon go looking for the bear. As Serra looks into the bear’s eyes she reconsiders the plan to kill and butcher it. Perhaps mercy? Perhaps a slight fear of being eaten? Who can say. She takes it to the children in the quarry and tries to teach some of the plucky young things how to command Jarros the bear. As the scene closes with a child pinned beneath a bear paw, may I take a moment to remind you, dear listeners of the perils of working with children and animals.

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Session 5: The Wanderers and the Wilds
"Behold the song of sudden exposition!"

As the party leaves town, a hand cart loaded down with goods and pulled by Brody, they know not when they’ll return. Some of the other villagers have given over some goods (like wolf pelts) to be sold in town assuming they don’t find Boron. Chris jealously guards the pelts Trixy put into the cart.

The first day passes uneventfully, but on the second day the trackers spot a trail of blood heading into the woods off the track. The usual selection of mixed priorities sets in until it’s realised that one of the objectives is to locate Boron. Leaving Chris in charge of the cart, Telon, Serra, James and Brody head off to follow the trail. A pair of small, wizened creatures drop out of the trees in ambush, only to be pummelled down by the group. James recognises them as goblins, bandit creatures out of myth. Realising these were a diversion, the heroic band of village dregs hustle back to the caravan, James reciting an old song of battles against the goblins, to find Chris facing off against the most of the creatures. As James rushes to Chris’ defence, helping him to kill some of the creatures attacking him, the goblin leader, a shaman or witch of some sort attacks Telon with what looks like a magical attack. Brody, Serra and Telon try to take it down, with Brody then deciding to negotiate with him. The creature obviously lying, Serra and Telon take the thing down. With the loss of their leader and half of their number the others bolt.

James, Chris and Telon having taken injury, Serra insists the group set up camp. Not understanding the principles of treating injuries on the move, Brody demands the party move on but eventually acquiesces at the lack of movement and goes to loot the goblins. The items their leader had worth far in excess of the few items they stole, the party rest easy knowing they have a definite profit. Serra traps the area and snags another goblin overnight.

As the party move on fully healed (bed rest is surprisingly good medicine!) they travel for a further two days without incident. They eventually spot the burned wreckage of a wagon. As they move closer they notice it’s Boron’s caravan, but there’s no sign of his horse… But his bear is certainly there… Oh wait… Did he have a pet bear?

As Serra and Telon try to calm the creature the group notice an odd feature: the bear is wearing a hat! It certainly seems to be tame enough, maybe someone owned it after all. James has a nagging suspicion there’s some sort of travelling group usually owning creatures like this… But swats it away as an errant thought. Probably nothing. They find Boron’s remains a few days dead in the cart, signs of injury on him and the caravan looted.

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Session 4: The piglets and the party
"It's definitely immaculate conception! Honest!"

In the aftermath of the battle of the boars, the party set up camp for the night. The boars have eaten most of the supplies so it’s a hungry night ahead. During James’ watch the piglets come back to camp, looking for their mother. Not having the heart to drive the off, he lets them stay. The next day, the group discuss what to do with them as Telon settles them down. The consensus is that they be taken back and sold to a farmer for rearing so the newly named Chris the boar, James the boar and Serra the boar join the group.

As the party, fairly hungry and carrying three boars between them, return to the village they see a torch burning. It’s Jimmy Long-arm! And half the village! The return of the first successful hunt since Serra’s brother died is a cause for celebration and there’ll be a feast the next night. Telon sets the piglets up in a pen on the edge of town and the party head to their respective homes.

There’s a big celebration in town the next day to celebrate a successful hunt. James provides much of the music and regales the town with stories of the trip. As the day goes on, Chris makes a speech declaring that he’s turned over a new leaf, sounding ever so slightly like overcompensation to some of the party… Rumours abound of Nerrah’s pregnancy, which she’s claiming is divine intervention but James realises he has a new aunt/uncle is the bun in that particular oven. Toward the end of the night, he comments to his granddad about this little miracle, and manages to get a pretty expensive bottle of red wine to keep his mouth shut!

The next day, Brody pressures Telon into giving up a boar for his family’s bakery. Til and he drag the boar across town to Serra’s house to skin it and find the supposedly missing Marabelle in front of the bakery, trying to get pies for some people who threatened to ripher legs off if she doesn’t comply. A hungover James joins the group, gets a few pies after some sharp words with Brody about riding roughshod over partners and walks off. Marabelle takes her pies and heads off to give them to her mysterious extortionists.

In the next few days, the village prepares for the arrival of the trader. Serra prepares medicines in the alchemist’s workshop, while James sets up his usual agreements to help sell goods for villagers. And then nothing. Boron is late. Several days go by and he’s still not there. Nerrah calls a village meeting and it’s decided a scouting party needs to take the goods to the next town and see if he’s fallen into trouble. Specifically the party who so expertly took on the boars. The party all agree to go except Serra, who bolts out the door. Except Serra it turns out is willing to go but didn’t want to be in the limelight.

The night ends with the group saying their goodbyes and preparing to leave.

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Session 3
"A pack of wolves can double in number every twenty minutes..."

Part 1: The Pastries and the Predators

We left our intrepid adventurers as a party divided: the main group had just slain a wolf tracking them through the wilds, meanwhile Brody had holed up for the night in an abandoned shack on the edge of town. Brody woke to the sound of wolves growling to find the rest of the pack, some ten strong, outside. With Marabelle snarling back at them, seemingly negotiating with them.

Her negotiations fail (she was rather high) and she flees into the wreckage to join Brody. As the wolves enter, a mass of vines wrap themselves around most of them, allowing the luckless pair time to escape… by running upstairs.

They leap out of the window, Brody somehow managing to keep hold of the pies and attempt to steady Marabelle’s landing. Their escape cut short by the twenty wolves who realised they’d got out and pursued, Brody uses the pies as a distraction to allow their escape. All forty wolves go after the pies. They then part ways after a surprisingly uninjured and unafraid Marabelle insists she is fine and doesn’t need his help. Brody then runs off into the woods full speed to catch the rest of the party.

As the rest of the party make camp the next night at a crossroads heading north, Brody catches up, and begins regaling them of his valiant rescue of Marabelle from eighty wolves.

Later that evening lights come out of the woods. Faeries knock everyone out and take their stuff. As people awake the next morning, substantially more naked than the night before, it turns out the delightful little tricksters have hidden their equipment in the woods. Chris is incredibly entertained by this, James is bemused and thinks it could have been worse while Serra and Telon threaten bloody murder against the creatures. What could possibly go wrong with threatening creatures which can knock out a party of five fully grown people on a whim leave them naked as babes in the wood? Surely nothing…

Part 2: The Boar and the Barman

The band of brothers and scary midget sister gather their belongings and continue on north to their destination, eventually reaching the boar territory. Ever the subtle one, Brody yells “there’s the boars!” to let us know we can ambush them, and they all run off, alerted to our presence. The night results in another faerie attack with Til’s bow going missing.

The next morning, an irate Til notices his bow is missing. Chris and James hear laughter and go pursue it. They find faerie lights and try to lure it out with jokes and bardic music, but it seems the faeries aren’t that stupid! They come out briefly but aren’t lured in for long. As the tempers in the party fray Serra, Til and Chris go tracking.

The plan is to set traps and drive the boars into it. Sadly this requires a certain amount of stealth which some of the less outdoorsy members of the group lack (specifically James)and the boars are alerted to intruders. As one gets ready to charge James, he throws a rock against another rock in the clearing, producing, oddly enough exactly four humans worth of noise. This distracts the boars long enough for him to escape but ruins the plan. Serra retrieves the traps and sets off to plant them by the boar nest, but bored by the inactivity, Brody gets down, and makes the boars set off in the opposite direction, straight into the camp and start eating mushrooms from the packs. Very specific mushrooms. One might almost say “magic” mushrooms.

As the group realise the boars aren’t coming back they go to see what they’re doing and manage to find them asleep in the camp. They kill two of the boars but wake the third. The mother. The protective mother near two piglets. Brody starts helpfully scolding the party when to avoid being charged by the thing, James attacks the boar sword in hand. Serra, Chris and Telon take position and between the four of them they slay the mighty, stoned beast before it hurts them. As they check the cave they find a scroll and a pouch of silver.

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